faithful.

It's been over two months since I've blogged.  I could say it's because I've been busy, but a lot of us are pretty busy in one way or another, aren't we?  But my life has been more busy than normal for me and (sadly) my blog has taken the back-burner.

In many ways the past couple of months have been full of contrasts.  Beautiful moments where my heart feels so full that it might burst and hard ones where tears are the only option.  Moments spent surrounded by wealth and moments spent surrounded by poverty that makes you angry.  Moments spent in the safety of my home and moments spent in extremely spiritually dark places.  Moments surrounded by heartbreaking injustice and moments spent hearing the stories of God's redemption in the lives of His precious children.

Sometimes I can't wrap my mind around all the contrasts.  It's just too much for my mind to comprehend and it honestly just doesn't make sense.

But if there is one thing I know for sure, it's this...

He is faithful.

And that's been my song these past couple of months... Has sido fiel.  God always has been and always will be faithful.

And so in the midst of beauty and pain and darkness and miracles and tears and laughter... He is faithful.

And for that, I'm grateful.

...

These pictures are over a month old now, but they are from a trip back north to see a good friend get married.  It was incredibly special :)

 

humbled.

Normally when I sit down to write a blog it's because I have something on my mind or heart.  But today I just opened up this page to write because it's been far too long since I've written anything at all.  So we'll see where this goes :)

I'm sitting here on this cloudy day, awaiting the promised storm that hasn't shown up yet.  My neighbor just brought me a glass of freshly made mango juice and my mug full of coffee is still hot.  It's recess at the school next door and the voices of tons of little kids dressed in blue and khaki uniforms fill my house.  Life.  Is.  Good.

Life would be full of goodness anyway... even if everything that was going on around me didn't feel like goodness.  Because the Lord is good and has blessed us with gifts that are more than we could have ever asked for or imagined.  But life right now also feels full of that exceptional kind of goodness as well.  The kind that leaves me in awe of all that the Lord has done and amazed at the fact that I get to live here and do what I'm doing.  I seriously stop dead in my tracks all the time, so thankful and humbled to be where God has me right now.

I spend a large chunk of my days with a bunch of 5th through 8th graders who are INCREDIBLE.  And I mean that.  They are brilliant and hilarious and full of surprises.  They are already awesome leaders and their love for the Lord inspires me.  I absolutely LOVE that I get the opportunity to spend my days with them and I'm so humbled that God has allowed me to be in the position that I'm in.

I've also been overwhelmed by the way that the Lord blesses my heart.  He knows me and cares so much about even the smallest of things and I'm often left with one of those crazy big smiles on my face because I can't contain the joy.  Moving away from Jaibón and Monte Cristi just about broke my heart in two.  I hated (and still do) the fact that I was going to be so far away from people who had become my family.  But you want to know something?  Even miles away from all of those people who stole my heart, God still chooses to bring a little bit of my world there down here to San Pedro.  Early this week, a big bag of limoncillos (amazinggg little fruit) arrived at my house, sent here with love from a precious older woman who lives in Jaibón.  I've also been extremely blessed by a sweet new friend who grew up IN Jaibón with all of the people who I call family.  Really?!  She grew up in Jaibón.  Her mom used to give me a mug full of coffee every time I passed by her house because she knows how much I love it.  And now she lives in San Pedro with her family.  God is too good to me and I have been so blessed by her friendship already.  She opened up her home and shared her family from day one and I'm so thankful for a little bit of Jaibón down here in the big city :)

There's so much more on my heart that I would love to share, but then I would be writing a book.  So for now, this is a glimpse.  I'm hoping to start sending out update emails every few months.  I really want to share more about what I'm involved in here, but I've decided not to mention some of those details in blog world :)  So let me know if you would like to be added to my email list!  Because I'd love to share a little more about what's going on down here.

Hoping that no matter where you are or what the Lord has you doing, that you are feeling blessed by His goodness and that your eyes are opened more and more to all that we have already been given.  He is so good.

today.

Today we...

:: painted fingernails bright purple.

:: drank lots of refresco.

:: traveled on two motorcycles, three buses, a taxi, and a carrito.

:: took lots of photos and recorded lots of videos.

:: laughed and sang and did each other's hair.

:: ate arroz con huevos.

:: and told story after story of memories that happened years ago.

I'm so thankful for these precious girls...

{Joanni, Elena, and Dariela}

{Joanni and Carolina}

{Luz Maria y yo}

{love them.}

{Luz Maria and Carolina}

{Dariela}

{Indiana}

blessed and encouraged.

This past week I was blessed to have some pretty incredible visitors stay at my house.  They are the kind of people that you always want to be around.  The kind of people whose words and actions are drenched with the love of Jesus.  The kind of people who leave you missing them and wishing they would come back as soon as they leave.

Jennifer, Jacob, and Jordan blessed and encouraged me so much during their week here.  Their passion for the Jaibon boys and the country in general is enough to make anyone excited about coming here and experiencing it for themselves.  Their love for the people here is deep and God-given and I can't wait to see where the Lord takes them.  And I also can't wait for the day that they are back on Dominican soil!

...

While they were here, we went up to Jaibon for a few days and I was once again amazed by the hearts and hospitality of my friends there.  They inspire me to give more, to serve more, and to open up my home more.  I honestly haven't met many other people who are more selfless than my dear friends in Jaibon.  These three women have completely different personalities, but they each love people with their whole hearts and welcome strangers into their homes as though they were family.  You leave their houses feeling filled up and encouraged and I hope they one day know just how much they have taught me about truly loving others.

...

I'm back in San Pedro now, missing my visitors and my dear friends in Jaibon and Monte Cristi, but grateful for all that the Lord has done and all of the people He has put in my life.  

I'm so so so blessed.

Here are a few photos from the past week...

{Gregory}

{Galan}

{Carolina}

{Genesis}

{Jonel}

{David}

{Imanol}

{Geisi and Genesis}
(photo stolen from Jennifer :))

{a whole lot of people I love}
(this photo is also stolen from Jennifer :))

depth.

I've been living in San Pedro for almost a month and that hardly seems possible.  Things have been busy and full in the best possible way and for that reason I've neglected this little blog.  But things are settling into more of a rhythm (as much as a rhythm is possible in this country...) and I can't wait to start blogging more often... because I really do find so much joy in the process of recording life in words and photos.

I arrived in San Pedro and immediately the overwhelmingly reality that depth takes time smacked me in the face.  It was as if I had forgotten that friendships that are like family don't happen over night and that deep trust happens as life is lived in community with others.  But all of a sudden I found myself in a setting where most of my relationships were very, very new ones.  The people I have met here are absolutely incredible and I already love them, but I'm reminded of what a treasure it is to dig roots down in a place and truly know people.  Six years ago I was setting foot on this island for the first time and falling in love with the people of Monte Cristi.  Six years of laughs and tears and prayers and people who became my family.  Depth is a beautiful thing.  And it doesn't happen overnight.  And honestly, I love that it isn't seen everywhere and that it takes time, because it makes it all the more special.

So while my heart aches and misses those people on the other side of the island, I'm also growing to love San Pedro.  A lot.  These past few weeks have flown by...

Full of learning my way around a "big" city, getting lost in the rain, asking thousands of questions, and seeing the grace of God through people going out of their way to help.

Full of baking lots of cookies and trying new food that I never saw up north and my neighbor yelling my name in the morning to give me a mug of coffee.

Full of getting to know the incredible staff at Las Palmas and teaching English to some amazing 1st-8th graders and parent meetings in Spanish (that run a lot smoother than they did two years ago!).

Full of Bible studies and a church community who loves the Lord and the beauty of being a part of a team working towards the same vision.

Full of new opportunities to serve and early morning lesson planning and figuring out how to drill holes in the wall because my Dad isn't here to do it for me.

Full of long afternoons on the porch with Galan and his family and late morning pancakes with Carolina and a trip to Monte Cristi/Jaibon that my heart so desperately needed.

So while depth does indeed take time, I'm so incredibly thankful for all that the Lord has done and all He has taught me these past few weeks.  He knows my heart and has blessed me with more than I could have imagined.  So here's to a new city and an incredible ministry and new friendships that will one day become ones that are laced with depth as well.

...

{Carolina}

{Galan}

a quinceañera.

Yessica celebrated her quinceañera (15th birthday) a few weeks ago and it was such a special night full of so many people coming together to celebrate her 15 years of life.  She has this natural ability at making people feel comfortable and welcome.  She is gifted with a sort of wisdom and leadership that is rare and flows out of her humility.  She loves the Lord and singing and her friends among many other things and I can't wait to continue to watch her grow up.

me, Yessica, and Christine

Requested by Paola :)

...

Also, you should read this.  It is incredible.

Happy weekend :)

bittersweet.

The past month has been crazy, partially because I MOVED ACROSS THE COUNTRY.  Six hours away from the two towns that I call home in the Dominican Republic sits a much larger city called San Pedro de Macoris.  After a couple of weeks of packing up all my belongings into boxes and suitcases, I now reside in the city.  It's been a whirlwind of emotions that I can only explain using the word bittersweet.  I'm hoping to blog a little more about the happenings of the past month or so, but until then, here's the story of what brought me to move to the other side of the island...

Way back in the spring of 2010, Christine and I came across a ministry called DR Vision while attempting to find ministries who were working with women who were in oppressive situations or deciding to leave prostitution.  DR Vision is a ministry that includes The Palms Christian School, a local church, a baseball ministry, a girls home, and a ministry for women at risk.  We wanted to visit, but weren't able to with our work schedules.  Other opportunities arose, I went on The World Race, and then I moved back down to Monte Cristi to teach and be involved in the lives of the kids who grew up in the orphanages.

November 2012 :: Over two years later, Christine and I found ourselves in San Pedro de Macoris, meeting with some people about the possibility of joining their ministry and visiting Terrill.  While there we ended up passing Las Palmas, the Christian school that is a part of DR Vision's ministry.  We recognized the school from the website, immediately emailed them, and ended up at their church that night.  It was absolutely incredible to be at the church and I went home extremely humbled by the way they all welcomed us in with open arms, asked us our stories, and invited us over to join them for dinner.

I left San Pedro the next day feeling so filled up and so grateful for meeting people who share my heart for the Lord and the Dominican.  Over the next couple of months, I occasionally entertained thoughts of what it would be like to work alongside them, but it wasn't until I received an email from the director of the school that it seemed like that might actually become a reality.

Long story way short, I headed down to San Pedro in January to see the school and talk with the director.  After a lot of prayer, I ended up accepting a position to teach middle school math and science next school year.  

Though leaving Monte Cristi just about broke my heart in two pieces, I'm thrilled about the opportunity to work alongside people with such incredible hearts.  I'm excited about being a part of a life-giving community, an amazing church, and a school whose vision is to invest in kids' lives and see them grow into leaders who love the Lord.  I'm excited about unending opportunities to serve, about being closer to a lot of the kids who grew up in Monte Cristi/Jaibon but now live closer to San Pedro, and about spending time with the amazing people who I am blessed to share a house with.

So while the transition has been bitter, it has also been sweet.  And I'm committed to remembering the Lord's goodness and His promises in the midst of it all.  

His grace never ceases to amaze me.

At some point during many of my major life transitions as an adult, the Lord has reminded me of His promises and His faithfulness through rainbows.  This picture was taken one of my last days in Monte Cristi before moving.

mother's day.

Days like today are ones when I wish I didn’t live an ocean away from my family. I wish I could wake up in their house and spend the day celebrating with them and reminiscing on years gone by. I want to go to church with them and stuff my belly full with them, drink endless amounts of coffee and curl up on the couch. I want to tell stories that only make sense to us and go to my Grandma’s big red house that holds a lifetime's worth of memories. Mostly I just wish I could be with them. 

But because I can’t jump in my car and drive across the ocean, today I celebrate my mom from here, thankful as always for who she is and the fact that I am so blessed to have her as my mom.

So, mom, I hope you know how much you inspire me, teach me, and bless me. You show me glimpses of the unconditional love of the Lord and I’m encouraged to love others more because of you. You’ve passed on your love of chocolate, making things with your hands, tea, pretty details, and your desire to make others feel special. I love the way you find joy in the little things, your love of adventure, and your desire to know God more. Thanks for all you’ve done to invest in me. You make me feel special, loved, and known every day.

Happy Mother's Day!

So incredibly thankful for you and love you more than you know!

full.

Today was the best kind of full.

Full of long bus rides and laughter and cake cookies with sprinkles.  Full of walking down dusty roads and seeing a beautiful face I hadn't seen in a year and too many quite a few cups of coffee.  Full of family and mangos and hearing a beautiful story laced with redemption.  Full of pizza and more than enough talk about motorcycles and full of the comfort of sitting around the table with people I've known for years.

Before walking out the door this morning, I threw Cold Tangerines (an incredible book by: Shauna Niequist) in my bag so I could re-read a little on the bus.  Only a couple pages into the book and my heart already felt more alive than when I got out of bed this morning.  My soul just needed the reminder that life is so full and that beauty and things worth celebrating are always surrounding me...

I just have to open my eyes to truly see.

...

{Pedro :: making sure no one even attempted to take food off his plate}

...If you have never read Cold Tangerines or Bittersweet, I highly recommend them both!

jaibon.

Jaibon will always hold this special part of my heart that I know I'm never getting back.  I fell in love in Jaibon.  I fell in love with the people and the kids and the genuine smiles on wrinkled faces.  I fell in love with women's stories around a beat up picnic table and la bandera and coffee from a greca and some special boys who taught me how to do things like hunt for tarantulas.  Mostly, I just fell in love with some incredible hearts and souls.

It's kind of funny actually... because in 2009 when I first found out I was moving to Jaibon (instead of Monte Cristi) I cried.  And I'm not just talking about a few tears.  I'm talking about the kind of crying that leaves you curled up on a couch, surrounded by your friends, convinced that everything you knew about life would soon be changing.

So it's funny to look back on that moment because now I can't imagine life without Jaibon and without knowing all of the amazing people who live(d) there.  Jaibon changed me.  It stretched me, humbled me, and taught me what it meant to truly depend on the Lord.  It was there where I found that I loved leadership and pouring into the lives of young adults... especially when they are outside of their comfort zones and experiencing something for the first time.  It was sitting around that old beat up picnic table where my heart was broken for Dominican women who are oppressed.  It was when I was living there that my eyes were opened to trafficking and prostitution around the world... and where a fire was lit on the inside of me that yearns for restoration and wholeness for those who are enslaved.  It was in Jaibon that I caught a glimpse of the unconditional love of God and it was there that I learned the significance of it being worth it for one.

My life looks quite different now than it did four years ago, but I still enjoy every second that I get to spend in Jaibon.  The people have captured my heart and I'll never forget what the Lord taught me there.  

And so while boys have come and gone and are now scattered around the country, a piece of my heart still remains at the end of that long dusty road...

...

Yesterday...

on writing more y mi hermanita.

"One of the arguments we often use for not writing is this: 'I have nothing original to say. Whatever I might say, someone else has already said it, and better than I will ever be able to.' This, however, is not a good argument for not writing. Each human person is unique and original, and nobody has lived what we have lived...

We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told."

-Henri Nouwen

Those words are an excerpt from some goodness that arrived in my email yesterday morning (I'm so thankful for daily wisdom from Mr. Nouwen!).  I've been thinking a lot about this little blog lately and how I want to write more.  I love capturing life in words and pictures and documenting all the joy and grace that God has woven into my story.  Sometimes I don't even know where to begin, but because of the joy I find in remembering and recording all of the celebrations and special moments in life, I'm choosing to update this a little more often.

So here's to our stories and what God is doing to transform the mess into beauty and to writing more about the grace and gifts that God has given.

...

Today, I'm also celebrating this loca even though I'm not with her in person...

{celebrating her birthday a day early}

Happy Birthday, Carolina!  So thankful for you and proud of the woman you have become!  You have such a heart to serve others well and you have this crazy ability to make others laugh and feel comfortable.  I'm impressed by your wisdom and your drivenness to accomplish what you have put your mind to and your consistent joyful spirit no matter what the circumstance.  Thankful for your 21 years of life!  

tqmmmm manita.

felicidades.

Celebrating this special guy today...

{2007}

{2013}

Happy Birthday Jochi!  So incredibly thankful and proud of him!  His thoughtfulness, his ability to bring laughter, and his drop-everything-to-help/fix-something-for-you-attitude inspire me.  

be still.

"Be still, and know that I am God; 

I will be exalted among the nations.  

I will be exalted in the earth."

Psalm 46:10

...a good piece of truth for this Monday morning.

saying yes.

It's now April and it's hard to believe that Semana Santa (Holy Week) has already come and gone.  Things around here have been the best kind of busy.  Full of friends who came to visit (to plan their Dominican wedding!) and lots of laughter and good coffee and conversations that make you think a little deeper about things and traveling around the country to visit some special ones who used to live at the orphanage with us.  

I simply can't explain how incredibly blessed I am by the people who I get to walk alongside through this one wild and precious life.  I have these friends who are crazy world changers, each of them changing and impacting the lives of others and fighting for the freedom of the ones we've been entrusted with.  They care more about others' needs than their own and they understand the need to trust the Lord and step out in faith even when the unknown can seem overwhelming.  Mostly, they'll stop at nothing to love people with everything they have in them, to bring freedom for the captives, to heal the brokenhearted, and to bring hope to some of the darkest places I've seen.

And the best part is that they live right here with me.  In this country and with these people who have stolen my heart.  

Sometimes I just can't contain my awe at God's faithfulness.  He's so so good.

And recently, I've felt this deep knowing that I'm living through a season where God is about to do something huge through the time spent with these people and the conversations that we are having.  It's this sense that these are holy moments.  And it's all the Lord.  We have done nothing but simply listen to Him and follow where we know He is leading.  

We've just chosen to say yes.

Yes to God and yes to His plans and yes to wherever and whoever He leads me to.  Yes to what He is asking me to give up and yes to more of Him and less of me and yes to what He is asking me to step into.

For it's all so worth it and I'm humbled to say yes to the One who gave me everything.  So my prayer recently has just been that God will show me what to say yes to.

And then I'll do it.  I'll say yes.  

Even if it's hard or uncomfortable.  And even if I need His grace to have a good attitude about it.  Because by no means do I come close to always choosing what He has for me over what I think I need.  It's just a journey in learning how to say yes.

So you should check out this goodness.  It's been changing my heart and filling my soul.

...

And here are a few glimpses at life here...

Pedro!  One of my favorites :)

Coffee factory tour... the process is fascinating!

Visiting Carolina while Elizabeth was in the country.

...

I'm attempting to post a photo every day under the photos tab so you should check 'em out :)

hope.

Yesterday was one of those days dripping with hope, where nothing at all felt impossible.  What began as a day trip to visit a friend of a friend turned into a miraculous gift from the Lord that I never would have believed even fathomable.

Over the past two years, many of the close to 70 kids at the two orphanages have left.  New kids have come and gone, but many of the ones I fell in love with at the beginning are now spread out all over the country.  Some live with parents and some live with grandparents.  Some live with aunts and uncles and still others live in different orphanages.  I have this deep love for those 70 that I will never be able to explain... this crazy love that makes it hard for me to ever imagine leaving this country.

So I pass the weekdays teaching English to the amazing kids who live in my barrio and the weekends... well the weekends I spend either at one of the two orphanages or traveling around the country visiting many of the kids who have moved away.  Because if there is one thing that I hope they always know, it's that they are loved.  And for that reason, I have committed (at least to myself) to be involved in their lives as long as I can.  For some that means spending time at the orphanages.  For some it means a whole lot of prayer.  And for some it means traveling across the country to see them for a few hours.

Because it's always worth it for one.  It's worth it to travel five hours across the island to the opposite coast for one hug.   It's worth to stay up late baking cookies for the twenty boys who live in Jaibon.  It's worth it to travel seven hours on random buses with no idea where we are going to sleep to spend a few days singing songs and coloring on the floor with some precious little girls. It's worth it for every single moment that one of them knows just how much they are loved.  Because more than hoping they know how much I love them, I hope they know how much God loves them.  The God who formed them before they were born and has loved them with an everlasting love that makes all things new.

...

So back to yesterday.  While visiting someone in a city about two hours away from where we live, Katie (a friend of a friend of a friend... I know, crazy.) mentioned that she volunteers at an orphanage for children with special needs.  Christine and I quickly explained how one of the girls who used to live in the orphanage here was just recently moved to a special needs orphanage.  Long story short, Katie asked to see a picture, said she knew her, and within a matter of minutes we were in a taxi on our way to see one of the ones who is so precious to us.  It felt like a dream, but there we were, standing in a different orphanage with a little girl who stole our hearts years ago.  I honestly didn't even know if I would ever see her again.  God is so good.

It was such a reminder that the seemingly impossible is always possible for the Lord.  We couldn't have arranged that series of events if we had tried.  On the bus ride back home, I stuck my earbuds in and faces kept flashing through my head.  They were faces of people who I feel are in impossible situations in one way or another.  But they aren't.  For in Christ there is always hope.  So we keep on loving and we keep on praying and we keep on showing grace and we keep on being the friends, brothers, and sisters to these ones who God has entrusted us with.

...

Wilfred, a good friend's son, just turned one.  We share the same birthday :)

generosity.

One of the most incredible gifts of living in a culture that's not the one you grew up in, is being able to learn and grow from people who see life a little differently than you.  When living your whole life in one single place, you often think that all over the world everyone has similar views and behavior as you.  But that is simply not true.  When I first stepped off the plane almost 6 years ago, one characteristic was extremely evident about Dominicans: their generosity.  It was easily noticeable everywhere I went, no matter what the outer circumstances were.

Little kids share the small amount of chocolate they are given with all of their brothers and sisters.

There is always, always an extra plate of rice and beans for whoever may stop by the house.

Five adults share one piece of candy so that everyone is able to enjoy it.

Students at school offer me their snacks at recess.

A man Emilee and I met on a bus gets off at a stop and buys us candy bars.

If someone walks into my house with a cup of juice, they always offer me some.

So my question is, why have I grown up always having a "mine" mentality?  I worry that my money will run out.  I hoarded all of my candy and toys as a child.  Someone gives me a piece of cake and my first thought isn't to share it with the five people I'm with.  Why is offering the coat off my back not second nature to me?  Why am I not always concerned with others' comfort over my own?

The bottom line is, a lot of the time I don't live as if I have enough faith that God will always provide.  Because if I did, it would be second nature to offer the coat off of my back and the cup of coffee that I'm drinking.

God has taught me more than I can recount through Dominicans the past few years.  And right now that lesson continues to be selflessness.  I'm learning what it means to not just die to myself once, but to die to myself every moment of every day, preferring others over myself.  For as Matthew 10:8 says, "Freely you have received, freely give."

...

Jose playing a song he wrote  :)

capture every moment.

I always love finding joy in the little things and appreciating every moment, but a couple of weeks ago I woke up with extra excitement for all that was to come that day.  And so instead of just letting it all be memories I decided to start capturing more of those moments with my camera.  It quickly became normal to hear "capture every moment" coming out of someone's mouth and it has resulted in more photos and a deepened appreciation for what we may be tempted to deem as common everyday life.  For the common is hard to find when you really think about how much beauty and grace we are always surrounded by.  So here's to capturing every moment and memories in the form of photos and glimpses into the everyday happenings around here...

Christine, Emilee, Bebo and I watching Jochi play baseball.

Jochi pitching.

Visiting some of our favorites.

Indiana and Joanni fixing Christine's hair... just like old times.

Valentine's Day Bingo at school.

Thankful to spend time with these boys in Jaibon.

Jose... attempting not to smile.

Coffee in special little cups at Jacqueline's.

Emilee y su cafe.

Visiting Carolina.

Bebo's birthday.