living with expectancy.

It's incredible how easy it would be to just coast through life merely existing.  To let the days pass by without intentionally living and appreciating the little moments.  To be distracted by the tasks that need to be accomplished and forget about the gift it is to simply be alive and breathing.

Because the truth is, each new day is full of possibilities and wonder.  If we could set aside our problems and anxieties for only a minute, we would see that God offers us a new chance every day to receive the gift that is life.  We have the opportunity to truly live and find joy in each and every moment if we just open our eyes.

God has given us a world full of beauty and gifts and grace.  If we stop and appreciate, we’ll find that there have always been reasons to be grateful.  Starry skies and wrinkled faces and freshly brewed coffee and food that is grown from dirt.  Sunrises and smiles and rain and deep conversations and laughter. 

Each and every day we wake up being given one of the greatest gifts: the gift of today.  It’s our decision how we choose to live it.  We can choose to trudge through each day, just trying to make it through.  Or we can choose to take advantage of every single minute that we are given and truly live.  To walk in the freedom and love that Christ has given us and accept all the grace and goodness that He hands us.  For Christ came that we may have life and have it to the fullest.  (John 10:10)

I just don’t want to wake up one day and realize that I have wasted moments in my “one wild and precious life.”  I want to live fully alive and grateful for all that I have been given.

So let’s wake up tomorrow with expectancy, shall we?  Expectancy for all that God is going to do and expectancy for all the joy to be found within that which is seemingly small.  Because I know that what we will find is a life full of love and awe and beauty and grace that has been given to us by the One who loved us before we ever entered this world.

So here’s to living with expectancy and eyes wide open to what God has for us in every moment.

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The little tree that is brightening up our living room :)

special.

Special doesn't even begin to describe yesterday.  Early in the morning, some incredible people came over to the house to visit.  I met these boys young men over five years ago when I came to the Dominican for the very first time.  It has been humbling and honoring to watch them grow up over the years and celebrate milestones with them.  They are talented men with huge hearts and I'm so thankful for the gift it is to live near them.  

Yesterday morning...
 

These pictures were taken in 2007... 

Look how young they WE were...

5 years later...

Jochi, Rafael, Leonel, Kelvin, & Argenis

...words just can't describe how special it was to see them.

lately.

Here's a little glimpse of what's been happening around here these days...

Our neighbors eating ice cream on our front porch.  They are awesome and crazy about playing cards and dancing dembow.

The four of us met Julie in Jarabacoa, an incredibly beautiful mountain town in the center of the country.  We spent two nights in an amazing hostel, complete with a fire place and front porch :) The church we went to met under a tent next to the river pictured above.  Jarabacoa was refreshing and good for the soul and we were all sad to leave.  

Cappuccinos!

 

 Emilee and I at a bakery we found in town.

Walking around near the hostel.

Beautiful :)

...

Spending the weekend in Jarabacoa was a much needed gift for all of us.  It was a few days full of laughter and good friends and coffee and church and mountains and cool weather.  I felt like God perfectly planned out that weekend for my heart.

The second we set foot back in Monte Cristi, we entered into one of the most draining weeks I have had here.  I'll spare you all the details, but needless to say, I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained.  I felt like I had nothing left to give.  Normally it's second nature for me to find joy in the little things... whether it's a smile or fresh juice or hot coffee or hearing someone's story... it's pretty easy for me to smile about the littlest of things and the biggest of victories.  But last week, I had to fight for that joy.  Fight to remember that I have so much to be thankful for.  Fight to remember all that the Lord has done and will continue to do.  Fight to see past the present moment and yet still be grateful for the present moment at the same time.  Fight for hope.

And then... our house flooded...

This was Thursday, when the rain first started.  We all thought it was crazy that the street flooded and that the water was rising into the garage.  We never imagined that the water level would keep rising and eventually flood the house.  Several hours later, the house was covered with a couple inches of water.  When the storm finally stopped and the water level went down, we all grabbed brooms and mops and swept all the water out of the house... finally finishing at 5 in the morning.

This is what our street looked like the next day... a muddy mess.

 

 Our neighbors playing in the water.

We never imagined that the second night would be worse than the first.  Once the rain started, the water level rose extremely fast.  We piled all of our belongings on our beds and simply waited it out until the almost knee high water started to go down again.

This was Friday night.  Needless to say, we spent all day Saturday cleaning the house... hearing word from the neighbors that the same thing would probably happen again that night.

 

Saturday night, thanks to some amazing friends, we blocked ourselves in the house with sand bags and cinder blocks, hoping and praying that the house wouldn't flood again.  While it rained Saturday night, it wasn't much, and we woke up to a completely dry house!

...

It's hard to believe that a week ago we were in Jarabacoa.  Although I would never choose to do last week over again, God used the circumstances to remind me once again that this place is not my home and that possessions are merely things.  He has drawn me back again to a place of desperate dependence on Him because I surely couldn't make it without His sustaining grace and love.  So I'm resting in a deeper place of trust and living out of an overflow of His love and not my own.  

Mostly He's reminding me of the power of the Gospel and that hope will never cease to exist even in the most difficult of situations and hardest of hearts... because He makes all things new.  

...

And as far as the rain is concerned... the sun is finally out and we are about to get busy cleaning this house!

love does.

I just read this little gem...

If you haven't already read it, I would highly recommend picking yourself up a copy.  You won't regret it :)

The book is reminder to love deeply and to love well.  To fully engage in this beautiful life that we have been given.  That our words are powerful and that encouragement makes the world of a difference.  That I want to leak Jesus and love out of an overflow of what the Lord has done in my heart.

Here's a little bit of goodness from the book...

"He's asking us, 'Will you take what you think defines you, leave it behind, and let Me define who you are instead?'"

"There is only one invitation it would kill me to refuse, yet I'm tempted to turn it down all the time.  I get the invitation every morning when I wake up to actually live a life of complete engagement, a life of whimsy, a life where love does.  It doesn't come in an envelope.  It's ushered in by a sunrise, the sound of a bird, or the smell of coffee drifting lazily from the kitchen.  It's the invitation to actually live, to fully participate in this amazing life for one more day.  Nobody turns down an invitation to the White House, but I've seen plenty of people turn down an invitation to fully live."

...

And here is one of my favorite pictures from the week...

Carolina and Yazmin's little baby :)  He is absolutely precious!

full heart.

Sometimes I start feeling restless if I can't just jump in a car and drive somewhere with good music and a large cup of coffee.  It's a little more difficult living somewhere where I don't have a car and where, even if I did, I'd be scared half to death to actually drive it.  So yesterday, instead of hopping in a car with a large cup of coffee, I grabbed my ipod and caught a bus to Jaibon, a place that always has this special way of making my soul feel more alive.  

I sat in the kitchen with a dear friend while she made lunch for her family and I curled up in a chair with coffee in my favorite mug and we talked about life and what had happened the past couple of weeks.  I made the familiar walk up the long, dirt road that leads to the orphanage and hugged precious little ones that have stolen my heart and spent time with the older boys who have grown up so much and remembered a time I treasure when I used to live there too.  

And by the time I got back on the bus to head home, my heart felt so full.  I found myself staring out the bus window, with a smile on my face that I couldn't hide.  Some moments when things are really hard and I'm missing people from my other home, I forget how much of a gift it is to live here... but in other moments, I can't contain my smile because I'm so blessed to be here and walk through life with these incredible people.  So there I sat on the bus, all by myself, staring out the window, with a silly smile pasted on my face. 

And it was even more refreshing than my own car and a large cup of coffee.

...

Here's a glimpse of life around here...

 Ari, one of the twins, who has grown up SO much!  Ari's tooth has now grown in, so unless you know their personalities extremely well, it's even harder to tell them apart :)

One day last week school was dismissed early and all of our students ran out of the gates in one giant stampede.  This picture was taken after the running stopped :)

Coco sent us Starbucks packets to make pumpkin spice lattes... we were more than excited!

Carolina and I at the house.

Celebrating the birthdays of two very special women :)

Jochi

Jonel... trying to get Dobi to look at the camera.

...

Loving these words...

"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."

Job 9:10

around here...

Friends from the completely opposite side of the island came to visit!


 Ari and Yessica... two incredibly special girls.

Ari... SO grown up!

We taught emotions at school last week... this is definitely the best "scared" face.

Francisco Javier :: our 2nd grade English class.

Ronny and Jose... Ronny's smile might be my favorite toothless grin right now :)

utterly amazed.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” 

-Mary Oliver

I came across this quote a few weeks ago and it has stuck in my head ever since.  I had found myself tightly grasping on to what I thought were my own personal needs, when the Lord gently reminded me that this is all about Him and not about me at all.  That my life is His and not mine and that really, I am blessed to be living exactly what I would choose to do with this one wild and precious life that I’ve been given. 

And really, I never chose any of this to begin with.

I never had a desire to leave the States.  I never planned to stay more than two months.  And then I never planned to stay more than two years.

But the Lord’s plans were different and here I find myself five years later…  living a life that is far more full than anything I could have ever dreamed.  Walking along side the people who stole my heart years ago and falling in love with new faces... and I couldn't be happier.

It's in the moments when I think I have nothing left to give that I find those words swirling through my head.  And I’m immediately filled with that deep peace of God that passes all understanding… knowing that I’m exactly where I am supposed to be and living what He has created my heart to beat for.

…As far as what has been going on around here…

Ahora somos cuatro.  There are now four of us living together :)  Carolina moved in with us a few weeks ago.  I love her so much and I am so glad we are able to live this season of life together.

We may or may not have eaten cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner that day... :)

School is officially back in swing and we have been teaching the past several weeks.  We are teaching English to 1^st-7^th graders at the public school in our neighborhood.  It has been absolutely incredible so far and I love the kids so much already.  The middle school students have stolen my heart and I can’t wait to see what God does this year. 

At the end of the day, I can still say that I’m just overwhelmingly grateful… for smiles and a couple hundred new students and fresh juice and talking about memories that happened 4 or 5 years ago and café con leche (always.) and people opening up their homes to us and deep conversations late into the night and houses becoming homes and friends becoming family.

 

In my backyard with Amanda and Aysel when they were here visiting :)

 

Ari, one of the not-so-little-anymore twins 

“Look at the nations and watch—and be utterly amazed.  For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”

Habakkuk 1:5

God is so faithful.  

grateful.

"If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.  For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that One died for all, and therefore all died.  And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again."

2 Corinthians 5:13-15

I'm on my third cup of coffee this morning, thinking about these words and feeling so incredibly blessed and alive.  It rained here today for the first time in who knows how long, and as the sounds of rain on the tin roof filled my room, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with thankfulness.

Three and a half years ago, I went back and forth with the Lord about moving down here.  I had fallen in love with the Dominican and God had completely rocked my world.  Everything in me knew I was supposed to be here, but leaving all I knew and everyone I loved seemed so scary.  It's funny to look back on those moments now because I really can't imagine being anywhere else.  I feel like God made me for this place.  There's something in me that comes alive the second I set foot back on Dominican soil... endless days full of cafe con leche, kids playing on dusty roads, smiles stretched across beautiful, wrinkled faces, and spending time with the amazing kids at the orphanage who stole my heart 5 years ago.  Grateful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel.

The past three weeks have been mostly full of visiting families and setting everything up in our new home before we start teaching on Monday.  I already love our new neighborhood and I can't wait to see all that the Lord is going to do... 

more than we could ever ask or imagine.

 

Visiting Leonel, Kelvin, Argenis, and their family in Esperanza.

home.

I'm home!  I've been in the States for about three weeks and it has been just what my soul needed.  To be honest, by the beginning of June I was plain exhausted and needed a break at home more than I knew.  Day in and day out of speaking/thinking/teaching in Spanish and living life in a culture not my own had left me drained.  

Emilee and I made the trek across the country to catch our flight back to America which was nothing less than complicated an adventure.  From waking up early and finding that we had no water to shower... to blow-drying my only pair of jeans that hadn't dried hoping they would be dry enough to wear.. to dragging our suitcases down dirt roads and lugging them across streams of water at every intersection... to arriving at the bus stop only to find out that they couldn't sell us tickets because the printer wasn't working... to boarding the bus at the last possible second and it pulling away before we even sat down.  Five hours later we arrived in the capital and were blessed by a friend who picked us up at the bus stop, treated us to lunch, and got us to the airport in time for our flight.  

We arrived in Miami, cold and tired, but grateful that we made it.  All I know is that I could feel your prayers that day.  Though many things seemed against us, we also had a friend who came out of his way to a bus stop to give us one last hug... and our water came on just in time for us to quickly shower and run out the door.. and another friend bought us coffee at the airport just before we went through security.  In the Miami airport, I found out that my Papaw had passed away while I was flying home.  I wasn't sure I would be able to take spending the night on the airport floor when all I wanted to do was get home as fast as I could.  But even that night I was overwhelmed by the love of strangers as a big group of teenagers gave Emilee and I some chocolate pie.  We then met a man who gave us ten dollars for coffee after using Em's computer to check an email.  God is so faithful.  I miss my Papaw a lot and am so thankful that I'm able to be here right now with my family.

...

I was also blessed with a trip to the west coast to see my sisters.  It had been too long since I had seen them and been able to spend time with them.  It was a week and a half full of laughs and tears, of catching up on the past year(s) and telling stories from years ago, of hanging out at the beach and decorating a new home, of meeting a new brother (Erin's husband!) for the first time and seeing Erin after three years of us living overseas, of a 4th of July cookout and watching fireworks from the roof, but mostly a week and a half full of love and life and the Lord's goodness.  So blessed.

I'll be in the States for two and half more weeks, before heading back to my other home in the Dominican Republic.  I couldn't be more excited to head back, feeling renewed by the Lord and refreshed by time with family and friends.  Please let me know if you would like to receive an update letter about last year and next year in the Dominican!

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Steph, Katie, and I at the beach in California

beautiful.

Steph, me, Katie, and Mike on a boat where we saw TONS of dolphins!

Katie, Mike, and I at the pier in Santa Monica

more pier fun.

Seeing Erin after too many years apart.

Erin and her husband, Robert

english institute graduation.

One of my favorite things about living here is being able to celebrate special moments and milestones with people.  Whether it's a birthday or a holiday or a lost tooth, I simply love celebrating.  This past Thursday, we celebrated the graduation of some really special teenagers.  When Christine and I served with Orphanage Outreach, we both taught English at their English school.  The students studied English for four years and can now carry on a conversation without saying a word in Spanish.  Thursday was especially significant because all of the students that Christine and I taught years ago were the ones graduating.  We were incredibly blessed to be able to be there.

 

Marleny and Yeimy are sisters.  Loooove them.

bittersweet.

I’m reading an incredible book right now called Bittersweet.  It’s written by Shauna Niequist, and you should definitely check it out.  I feel like she is sitting across her kitchen table sharing her heart with me, and the Lord has shown me numerous things about my own heart through her words.

But the book aside, these days (and I know the weeks to come…) can be described by no other word than bittersweet.  Sometimes I don’t even understand how my heart can feel two entirely opposite emotions at the same time.  Because part of me absolutely cannot wait to be back in America, tightly hugging the people that I’ve missed so much.  Emails and few and far between phone calls just aren't the same as being in the same room with family and friends.  But there is another part that dreads the moments when I have to say goodbye.  While I know that I will be back before I know it, these people have stolen a part of my heart that will be left here when I get on that plane in a couple of weeks.  So I find myself within one of the most bittersweet seasons, full of beauty and difficulty and mostly just grace.  Grace to say those goodbyes and grace to trust that the Lord is always holding His sons and daughters here in the palm of His hand and grace to be able to see people at home who I ache to see and grace to be able to rest and be filled up.

I'm flying back to the States in less than two weeks and I really am so excited and blessed to be able to spend some time with family and friends.  Before we leave the country, Emilee, Christine, and I will be moving.  We are moving closer to one of the orphanages and into a neighborhood that has been on my heart since last fall.  I cannot wait to share more once we have moved, but we would definitely appreciate prayers over the next couple of weeks.  The three of us are spending some much needed time in America before coming back here in late July/early August.  I'm also excited to share more about what next year holds, but for now, here are a few photos...

Sunset in Jaibon

Jochi.

Albenis and Malvin with fake SNOW at school!

An old picture from Christmas time of one of my favorite families who I will dearly miss.

...love.

photo booth.

This weekend is the presidential election and everyone is more than excited about it.  There are caravans almost every day, trucks that drive around with insanely loud music about the politicians, political flags outside of houses, and most conversations include some sort of question about who you are voting for.  On Monday none of the schools are open, and although our school is open today, very few students showed up.  So me and my six kids that came this morning have been having some fun with photo booth.  

Enjoy... 

 

 

...much love :)