{choose}

It’s 9:45 at night and the power just went out and I have a list a mile long of things I wanted to accomplish tonight.  But if there is anything that I feel like I’m learning these days, it’s that I just need to slow down and soak up the goodness in each moment as it comes.  Because almost every single one is full of beauty if I would just open my eyes to it.

It’s been raining a lot around here lately, and by raining I mean that the skies have been opening up and pouring out water for hours.  And here that pretty much means that you are just going to stay exactly where you are at until the rain ceases.  Because most people don't want to get on a motorcycle if it means being drenched in .2 seconds.  So we stay put and we wait it out and we choose.  We choose whether to appreciate or to complain or to wish it would just stop long enough to get home.  We choose whether to find the good or only see the negative and we choose whether or not we are going to change our perspective. 

Because even though the rain can sometimes be inconvenient or losing power at night when I have a lot to do wouldn’t be my preference, there is so much good in those moments.  And the Lord uses them to remind me that I’m not the one in control here and sometimes I just need to appreciate the goodness and gifts that He is giving me.  So some days that might mean being trapped at school and grading papers so I don’t have to do it later that night and sometimes it might mean getting stuck on the balcony at the orphanage with one special kid and singing old songs and eating candy until the rain let up. 

But for tonight I think it means that I’m going to take my candles and make some tea and read a book, thankful that I have been given these moments to just be and not worry about my mile long checklist.

Because I’ve only got one wild and precious life and I don’t want to waste time wishing there was power when I could be reading by candlelight.

...

{one of my favorite places to curl up with a mug of coffee}

{so many memories}

{David and I waiting out the rain}

{new life}

{goodness}

Today I woke up to a silent house and spent my morning going through pictures and drinking my coffee in bed.  Last Saturday, however, looked just a little different.  I woke up to laughter and excitement and six little voices that were ready at 6:30 in the morning for everything that day had to hold.  Six little ones eating (or not) bowls of cereal and smashing play doh into the floor as they created masterpieces and constantly adding new drawings to the refrigerator.  Six excited ones piling into a van to go to McDonald's, opening happy meal toys and running through the play place.  Six precious ones spread out all over the floor and the couch, watching movies projected on the wall and spilling ice cream on their clothes.

Last weekend was CRAZY.  But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  This past week I was reminded once again of just how important every single moment is with ones that you love and I just want to soak it all up.  So if it means being a mom to six kids for the weekend or staying up late to talk to friends or traveling across the country to see people I love, I'm all for it.  Because time and people are oh so precious.

{uno}

{big family... and she still had one more brother to add!}

{thank goodness for chalk boards}

{math class}

{McDonald's}

{sisters}

{Nena}

{Indiana}

{all six... so special!}

{family}

So grateful for relationships that run 7 years deep and cheap bus tickets that make it possible to travel across the country and years worth of memories and stories that makes hours feel like minutes.  Love these special ones so much!

{i'm back}

After five weeks away, I'm finally back in the country.  These people are incredible and these are some of the moments that I've wanted to store up in my heart forever... saying that I'm feeling grateful would be an understatement.

{Nicol before a presentation at the university}

{las mellas y Carmelito}

{Jochi}

{this porch and that guitar and those people}

{love them}

{monopolio}

{so many memories walking up this little dirt path}

{known and loved :: making dinner by candlelight} 

{2nd day of school}

{Linga :: absolutely adore her}

{delicious food prepared by precious hands}

{recently}

{flowers from my sweet mom who knows and loves me so well}

{sweet tea everywhere you go}

{playing their favorite game}

{absolutely}

{bridge walking across the ohio river}

{primos}

{incredible friends all together at the same time}

{good old Knoxville}

{sweet memories walking down this oh so familiar street}

when there aren't words...

Life is so full.  Full of beauty and pain and brokenness and joy and heartache and celebration.  Somewhere along the way I stopped posting on here because I honestly felt like I just needed to pause for a moment.  The past few months have been full of beauty, but they have also been full of tragedy.  And tragedy leaves our hearts in a messy place where there are often no words.

So instead of words, it was hours spent on buses and listening to stories of a beautiful life and holding old wrinkled hands when there was nothing left to say.  It was just being there and remembering to treasure every heart and every moment.

{Nicauri and Angelita on Christmas day}

...

Here are some pictures from the past few months...

{Terrill, Rachel, Christine, and I in Haiti}

{Haiti}

{precious sisters}

{Nena and Indiana}

{Nena fixing Christine's hair... siempre}

{comprando.}

{Jochi's high school graduation!}

{special, special day}

{Jochi and Yessica}

{weekend glimpses}

The stark contrasts in my life used to paralyze me.  It didn't make sense to be visiting loved ones in a neighborhood full of complete darkness--their reality--and hours later to be eating at a fun restaurant with my friends.  I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that some of my friends occasionally don't have enough money to eat dinner at night and I have enough for a plane ticket back home.  The differences haunt and confuse me if I let myself linger there and my thoughts never yield anything close to a simple answer.

Last night I went to McDonald's with a friend to get some work done for school.  It is basically the closest thing we have to a coffee shop around here... coffee and free wifi are hard to come by.  And there we found ourselves asking that familiar question once again.  Is it ok?  Is it ok that we are spending money on this meal when we know what else that money can buy?  When the money used on one meal there could feed an entire family for a day?  When we know how that money could benefit those our eyes have seen and our hearts have loved?

There are no easy answers to those questions and I know there never will be.  But I just pray that our hearts don't ever become numb to the Kingdom.  That we don't slowly find we are living for ourselves once again.  That we recognize that we are responsible for our spending and have been entrusted with much.  That instead of attempting to answer all those questions, we are seeking the Father's heart for His people.