los estados unidos...

As I signed in to my blog this morning for the first time since I have been back in the States, I couldn't put my finger on what was weird about it... and then I noticed. My blog page was no longer in Spanish. In the Dominican all web pages are in Spanish and I had grown quite used to that. These little things remind me of how much I miss that little island that will always hold a piece of my heart no matter where I am.

I came across a quote this morning that really hit me...
"When you feel disenfranchised (like you don't belong in the place that was once your home) it is no longer the world that matters, it is the kingdom that matters and when the kingdom is all that matters to you- you won't fit in."

I have loved being able to see people who are such a huge part of my life these past couple of weeks. I have been able to spend time with family and friends who know my heart and that has been amazing. I have missed being able to share in every day life with my sisters and it has been a huge blessing to spend time with them again. But I also couldn't help but feel overwhelmed that the United States is no longer my home. So much of me feels disconnected from this place. My life is so different now than when I lived here. I sometimes feel myself lost in a distant world where I am back with the kids in the Dominican when people are talking about T.V. shows, the latest movies, or going shopping to find new winter clothes (it's still in the 90s in the Dominican!). It's not that I'm mad or bitter or hate being in the States (I've really loved my time here), I just find myself so disconnected from life here. I haven't listened to American radio in almost 6 months... and while I could tell you the latest Spanish songs and know all the words to Enrique Iglesius' song "Dimelo," I have no idea any of the words to the songs of Miley Cyrus or pop radio or even new English worship songs. So like I said, it doesn't make me mad or even sad, it just reminds me that my home is longer here. My home right now is a little island just south of Cuba... where the people speak Spanish and sit outside all day long and live off little dirt roads and eat rice and beans for every meal every day and will talk to you any time of any day and invite you into their homes and share what they have with you and let you hold their babies even if they haven't ever spoken a word to you and smile at you from their hearts.

And then I came across that quote. And I was reminded that no matter when or how often my physical home changes, I don't want to ever feel like I fit in where I'm at. I don't fit in because I was created for a kingdom that is not of this world. And so while I am here, I pray I am always living kingdom-minded. That the Spirit overflows through me and that I am bringing the kingdom of God to this earth no matter where I am living. Because I have a feeling that my earthly home is going to be changing a lot more than I can even imagine. So I continue to learn lessons of grounding my home in the kingdom instead of my physical location. Oh the beauty of letting the Lord direct our paths. His plans are far better than any I could conceive.

So I pray for all of us that our physical homes don't define us. But that the kingdom is all that matters.

Changes make you reevaluate and think. One more reason why I love 'em :)